Are you into the concept of a threesome without the inconvenience of trying to fit three people into a bed? Well, you're in luck, because here we have two minds for the price of one body! One of them's a complete monster and the other one's the Mind Flayer. The bad news is that neither of them are willing to get a haircut, but if you can look beyond the mullet you're in for a truly wild night.
[ ...Okay. He wasn't actually expecting to hear that. ]
You make a habit of caring about people who've been nothing but assholes to you, Harrington?
[ And he isn't even trying to continue being an asshole, even though he kind of is. He's just honestly baffled as to why someone would care about a person who's been a thorn in their side since the day they met. ]
[ ugh drunk steve cannot understand what is happening. billy why are you doing this????? give him a moment while he opens another can of beer because wow ]
Okay, Harrington- Hargrove. Hargrove. [yup that's your name] You're not the great big dickbag you think you are. You beat me up like one whole time while we've been here. And you helped me fight those dream monsters, and we hung out at the beach, and we figured out about eggplant dicks [ you can't see, but he's counting these off on his fingers ]
and you still have to play blindfolded basketball against me which you're going to lose because you are not the hot hot at basketball you think you are. So yeah, eggplantface, you figure out why I'm apologising to you okay.
[ there's a beep and the video turns on. shit, he'd meant to hang up. ]
[ And some of the other people he's hurt have been kids. Almost none of them have been people who actually deserve it, because he's afraid of those people. He takes it out on the weaker ones.
He flinches when he hears the beep, and turns to look at the phone expecting that he got hung up on...only to see Steve Harrington's stupid drunk face. He laughs at that, and then re-positions himself so the camera has a better angle on him. ]
And that's worth putting up with the rest of me for? [ An honest question, because some people in his life didn't put up with him even before he turned mean. ]
[ Steve is lying on his roof, because it's the best place to get drunk and when he finishes a can he can try to hit the demogorgon lawn sprinkler that just keeps appearing on his lawn no matter how many times Mike destroys it
He squints at the tiny screen, unable to properly articulate any of the mess of feelings. ]
I don't know, are you planning to drive around town looking for kids to beat up when you're bored?
I hope you're not putting too many of your hopes and dreams into me following the same path as you.
[ He doesn't say 'yes I'm going to drive around town terrifying kids', at least. But he's done it before, and being here hasn't changed him that much. ]
[ The pffffffft noise that Steve makes goes on for a while. Billy? Turning babysitter?? When hell freezes over. ]
Do you just like hearing yourself talk. Is that it? [ Steve you've been doing most of the talking ] Come on, Hargrove. What else is there? [ time for more beer] You afraid I want to cut your hair off while you sleep? Make you babysit Mike? Or hHave you just never had a friend or something? God.
[ He finishes the can of beer ] You are shit at being apologized to, okay? The worst.
Yeah. Hargrove. I'm gunning for you to go join the girl scouts. [ Another pfffft, for effect. And because it's a fun noise to make. ]
And what do you mean it's usually you apologizing? I have literally never seen you apologize to anyone. [ Steve hasn't seen it so it can't be true. #logic ]
Slow down there, I said I owed the apologies, not that I gave them.
[ And most of the people who actually owed him an apology never gave him one, either. Steve might be the first one who actually did, and it was for something that wasn't really his fault. ]
Christ, if you drink too much more you're gonna have to sleep up there. [ Because Billy's not going to come over and carry your dumb ass down so you don't fall, definitely not. ]
I'm more of a self-sufficient guy. [ Which means no, he's never had a friend like that. ]
Yeah, yeah. [ He's fine. Totally fine. Now the worst of it is over and he's apolgised and Billy has accepted the apology-- which he has, right?-- all is good with the world. ]
Self-sufficiently an asshole. [ Which is a hilarious joke, okay. Please laugh. ] That explains why you're shit at taking apologies.
You just look stupid. [ Steve might have paused just a little long before that comeback, but he can blame it on being drunk. Definitely being drunk is the problem right now. There are no other problems.
He's gotta be drunk if he finds Billy's dumb licking so appealing right now.
With a groan Steve sits up, the camera wobbling away from his face while he runs a hand over his face.
When he brings it back to him, he's scrunching up his face while he waits for his balance to kick in. ] God, I am so wasted right now.
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You make a habit of caring about people who've been nothing but assholes to you, Harrington?
[ And he isn't even trying to continue being an asshole, even though he kind of is. He's just honestly baffled as to why someone would care about a person who's been a thorn in their side since the day they met. ]
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Okay, Harrington- Hargrove. Hargrove. [yup that's your name] You're not the great big dickbag you think you are. You beat me up like one whole time while we've been here. And you helped me fight those dream monsters, and we hung out at the beach, and we figured out about eggplant dicks [ you can't see, but he's counting these off on his fingers ]
and you still have to play blindfolded basketball against me which you're going to lose because you are not the hot hot at basketball you think you are. So yeah, eggplantface, you figure out why I'm apologising to you okay.
[ there's a beep and the video turns on. shit, he'd meant to hang up. ]
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[ And some of the other people he's hurt have been kids. Almost none of them have been people who actually deserve it, because he's afraid of those people. He takes it out on the weaker ones.
He flinches when he hears the beep, and turns to look at the phone expecting that he got hung up on...only to see Steve Harrington's stupid drunk face. He laughs at that, and then re-positions himself so the camera has a better angle on him. ]
And that's worth putting up with the rest of me for? [ An honest question, because some people in his life didn't put up with him even before he turned mean. ]
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He squints at the tiny screen, unable to properly articulate any of the mess of feelings. ]
I don't know, are you planning to drive around town looking for kids to beat up when you're bored?
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[ He doesn't say 'yes I'm going to drive around town terrifying kids', at least. But he's done it before, and being here hasn't changed him that much. ]
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Do you just like hearing yourself talk. Is that it? [ Steve you've been doing most of the talking ] Come on, Hargrove. What else is there? [ time for more beer] You afraid I want to cut your hair off while you sleep? Make you babysit Mike? Or hHave you just never had a friend or something? God.
[ He finishes the can of beer ] You are shit at being apologized to, okay? The worst.
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[ Because he's not doing that. Not ever. Nope. ] I'm always the one who owes the apologies. I don't usually get them.
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And what do you mean it's usually you apologizing? I have literally never seen you apologize to anyone. [ Steve hasn't seen it so it can't be true. #logic ]
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[ And most of the people who actually owed him an apology never gave him one, either. Steve might be the first one who actually did, and it was for something that wasn't really his fault. ]
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[ pffffff an apology card from Billy Hargrove ]
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What do you mean, 'have you just never had a friend or something'?
[ Are you saying you're his friend?? ]
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Yeah, you know? Someone who'll get you something from the store and won't immediately tell you how much you owe them.
[ It was a revelation to learn there were such people in the world. ]
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I'm more of a self-sufficient guy. [ Which means no, he's never had a friend like that. ]
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Self-sufficiently an asshole. [ Which is a hilarious joke, okay. Please laugh. ] That explains why you're shit at taking apologies.
[ steve that doesn't explain that at all ]
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[ As if heckling Steve isn't his entire existence. ]
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You gonna stick your tongue out at me again, Hargrove?
[ are you ready for steve to have a shot at copying what he thinks it looks like? ready or not, here it is ]
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[ Here it is, here's the real Billy Hargrove lick. ]
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He's gotta be drunk if he finds Billy's dumb licking so appealing right now.
With a groan Steve sits up, the camera wobbling away from his face while he runs a hand over his face.
When he brings it back to him, he's scrunching up his face while he waits for his balance to kick in. ] God, I am so wasted right now.
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[ He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. God, that idiot. ] Do you want me to get you down?
[ So much for 'never doing that'. ]
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[ He wobbles as he turns to show the camera the bathroom window just there. Like ten feet away. ] See? Right there, mom.
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[ That's Billy code for "hey, I'm maybe kind of concerned about you for some reason so you better not hurt yourself". ]
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[ because you used to always bowl him over in basketball practice ]
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[ Besides, they can't have that basketball contest if he falls off the roof. ]
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[ Pfffffffffff ]
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[ Is he joking? Does he really want to fight the roof? Who knows with Billy. ]
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