deerly beloved;

[driving]

deerlyBeloved: hargrove Are you into the concept of a threesome without the inconvenience of trying to fit three people into a bed? Well, you're in luck, because here we have two minds for the price of one body! One of them's a complete monster and the other one's the Mind Flayer. The bad news is that neither of them are willing to get a haircut, but if you can look beyond the mullet you're in for a truly wild night.

( billy hargrove | 18 | m | bisexual )

Comments

un: SuperheroFangirl

[variantcover]

what if i wanna?
what if i'm into guys with mullets.

nice mullet btw. are you bringing it back in fashion or are you from a time where mullets are still ok to have?

[driving]

yeah that's right don't let this app tell you what to do

i'm always in fashion but i'm from 1985 if that answers your question

[variantcover]

cool. that's 12 years before i was born.

[driving]

wait are you telling me that mullets aren't cool in the future??

[variantcover]

mullets are definitely not cool in the future.
they're among the top three worst haircuts to have...
right next to bowl cuts and combovers.

[driving]

what
what the fuck
that's terrible


well i'm bringing them back. people in the future clearly just don't know how to wear them right.

[variantcover]

hey, you do you.
i can't tell you how many people have told me my pink ombre was tacky.
mostly teachers and relatives, but whatever, fuck em.

[driving]

if a teacher tells you something is tacky, it's definitely cool
that's a good rule to live by

[variantcover]

that deserves a fist bump.

🤜💥🤛

[driving]

holy fuck i didn't know you could do little pictures
i am definitely gonna use this knowledge for evil just so you know

[variantcover]

there's a whole emoji keyboard full of them. press the smiley face button on your phone keyboard and you'll find em.

go forth and emoji, young padawan.

[driving]

holy fuck
holy FUCK

🍆

has anyone ever noticed that that one kinda looks like a dick??
how did they miss that!!

[variantcover]

oh wow. my world has been rocked.
i don't know what i'm going to do with this information.
my life has been forever changed.

[driving]

you're welcome
i know just who to send that to

you can send it to your enemies as well, you showed me how to use those little pictures so you can have half discovery rights

[variantcover]

how generous of you.

why would i send my enemies a dick emoji though?

[driving]

uhhhhhhh


[ He doesn't actually know. But he sure just sent one to HIS enemy. ]

to call them a dick? [ Yeah, there we go. ]

[variantcover]

[ """""enemy""""" ]

if they're really my enemies i'd probably either
1. not text them at all
or 2. text them the gun or sword emojis to show that i'm gonna come kick their ass with my guns and swords.

[driving]

if you don't text them how will they know how much you hate them

[ Not everyone is so desperate for the attention of their supposed enemies, Billy. ]

the gun and sword thing works too though, shit maybe i shouldve texted him that instead of the dick

un: simba

[sinnabon]

That doesn't seem like a good way to find people to have sex with you.
That's what Steve said this app is for.
I think Steve's confused.

[driving]

i didn't write it
i guess someone here doesn't think i'm boyfriend material
that's okay though i don't need this stupid app to get laid

[sinnabon]

They seem to think that about a lot of people here.
Mine says to leave me alone.
Were you dating someone at home, before Deerington?

[variantcover]

uhhhh when i show up to kill them with my guns and swords, i think they'll have a fair idea how i feel.

ooh, """"him""""? who is him?

[driving]

not really dating
had a bunch of people i hooked up with

[ That means a bunch of people who thought he was going to date them but that he dumped after a week or two because he's afraid of commitment. Thus, 'don't' is probably the best advice anyone can give about dating him. He's a gross playboy and a heartbreaker, not boyfriend material. ]

[driving]

i guess that works too

[ Probably better than texting the eggplant. Actually, definitely better. ]

you met steve harrington? big hair, freckles, sucks at basketball?

[sinnabon]

Why not?
Did no one want to date you?