[ His lips curl into a frown, and he recalls that encounter they had back then those headbands were around. Billy can't even call it an 'unpleasant encounter', aside from the fact that he's angry that he enjoyed it.
But he sure doesn't want Nick thinking that's just how he is. Tough on the outside, soft and whimpering and longing for protection on the inside.
That's not how he is. It's not. ]
You don't think I'm a bitch, do you? You'll be disappointed if you do.
[ If Nick doesn't know what bitch is, he almost definitely doesn't know what a pussy is. ] ...A pathetic, weak guy that you can boss around. Is that what you're trying to push me into?
[ He doesn't bother pulling away from the kiss, or trying to say 'I'm straight'. It just seems pointless now. He enjoys this, he enjoys being with other men, and though he's still trying to tell himself it's just the influence this place is having on him, he's starting to accept that he might just be into guys. ]
Yeah. I understand. [ He's had similar inclinations before; it's why he went after the most popular guy at school. Anyone could push the nerds around, if you wanted real status you couldn't just pick on the weak.
The part where he's supposed to like being controlled is the part that's still lost on him, but he won't push it. He still thinks he has a chance of winning this. ]
I'm not gonna make it easy. I guess you already know that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Back up, Billy.
Don't do anything you'll regret.
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If you didn't want me to do something I'd regret, you wouldn't have made that contract.
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You'll learn to like it.
[Well.
Probably not.]
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[ Billy never knows when it's a bad time to run his mouth. ]
Undo it.
[ He also never knows when he's not in a position to give orders. ]
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You don't even know what I'll give you.
[He smiles, just a little.]
I think it'll surprise you.
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[ In his experience, people who have power over him don't give him anything. They just do as they please.
It's what he'd do, if the tables were turned.
But he'll listen. ]
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But I think you might need some nudging to get there.
[Translation: You're the biggest fucking bottom and you need some help to learn to like it.]
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But he sure doesn't want Nick thinking that's just how he is. Tough on the outside, soft and whimpering and longing for protection on the inside.
That's not how he is. It's not. ]
You don't think I'm a bitch, do you? You'll be disappointed if you do.
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[He doesn't.]
I think you need a push. And I'm going to give it to you.
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[ If Nick doesn't know what bitch is, he almost definitely doesn't know what a pussy is. ] ...A pathetic, weak guy that you can boss around. Is that what you're trying to push me into?
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[He points it out because it's obvious. And he leans across the table, and kisses him, on the mouth, hard.]
I did it because I wanted to control you. And controlling someone like you? That's status. Do you understand me?
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Yeah. I understand. [ He's had similar inclinations before; it's why he went after the most popular guy at school. Anyone could push the nerds around, if you wanted real status you couldn't just pick on the weak.
The part where he's supposed to like being controlled is the part that's still lost on him, but he won't push it. He still thinks he has a chance of winning this. ]
I'm not gonna make it easy. I guess you already know that.
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I wouldn't have spelled the contract, otherwise.
[He knows. He stands up, so he's standing next to Billy, and he reaches down to run a thumb over his cheekbone. He looks tender, and then he doesn't.]
So.
Whenever you're ready, come see me.
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Yeah. You come see me when you're sick of waiting.