What, are you a five year old?? [ He rubs a hand across his face, blinking heavily. ] Once upon a time there was this guy who was really great and the best at basketball and drove a nice car. Then this other guy came along who was a total douchebag and pushed him over and was generally a dick. They both ended up in this fifties nightmare town full of monsters and it sucked ass. Except there was booze so it wasn't a total drag, the end.

[ someone give him a nobel prize for literature, that was poetry. ]