I'm glad I found you, period. [ He kisses Steve along his neck more, nipping at his skin a little though he only leaves the one hickey. ]
Even if it meant moving to Hawkins. That was worth it. [ Even if I died in Hawkins is implied. He's not sure why he feels so strongly, but he has something with Steve he doesn't think he'd have anywhere else, no matter how long he lived for.
The 'l' word is on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't find it yet. ]
[ If Steve's noticed Billy's lost any muscle definition he doesn't show it, pulling his shirt up and getting a hand on any part of him he can reach. Billy is warm and familiar and right here and when Steve gets to thinking later he's going to realise that the epiphany he had a few days ago was right, talking to Mike about Will-- he's fallen for Billy hook, line, and sinker.
But right now, in the moment, he just tilts his neck and holds Billy closer.]
'm glad you showed up, too. Even if you gave me stitches.
[ He gave Steve stitches back home. He beat the shit out of him again for the crime of trying to help him out when he first got here.
The thought makes his stomach drop. The fact that he's had the exact same mindset that made him lash out against Steve very recently towards other people makes it even worse. He hasn't entirely changed. He just cares for Steve now. ]
I know. [ Steve turns his face, brings their noses together. ]
You're doing so good already. Putting up with me and the kids and just-- [ He's on the verge of kissing Billy when he turns his head, kisses down his neck instead. He doesn't have the words for how proud he is of how hard Billy's trying. ]
No, why? You growing another 'stache? [ That's got to be what Billy's asking about, right? After a few more kisses, Steve pulls back to have a look. It takes a second to focus properly. ]
Because I touched something with my bare hands when I got here and this doctor on the network said I shouldn't. [ You know, when they got here a week ago. And Steve's been totally fine since then. ]
[ For a moment Steve goes still, frowning faintly into the middle distance. Two totally reasonable courses of action are in front of him. He's not exactly sure how to pick.] I-
[ But then he leans in, laying one right on Billy. Doing what he's told is the right thing to do, clearly. ]
[ He smiles, returning the kiss. ] There. See, it's fine.
[ In the back of his mind it is pretty weird that Steve took what some random doctor said that seriously, but Billy likes being able to reassure Steve, too.
He breaks away and falls back onto the bed. ] You're so tense. Come on, just lay down and relax with me for a while. [ He holds out his arms so Steve can lay on his chest. ]
[ Steve's more than happy to comply, spreading himself across Billy with a deep, relaxed sigh.
Except that he can't quite completely relax; there's tension deep down inside him that a sigh can't completely erase-- and that sets his forehead wrinkling. To make up for it he kisses Billy again. ]
[ He holds Steve close to his chest, stroking his hair. ] If all that Titanic nonsense was real, do you think you'd have run away with me if we made it to America?
[ Probably not, but it's fun to imagine a universe where they eloped together. ]
[ Steve should relax, he's been told to after all. But his hair is totally gross after not being washed for over a week and it's stressing him out that Billy's touching it.
He lets out a breath, trying to will away the tension in his shoulders. ]
What, and miss out on keeping you around as my mistress?
Give you some private lessons. [ He continues massaging Steve’s shoulders, trying to help him relax. Just because they’re here doesn’t mean they don’t deserve some nice quality time. ]
No running, though. I’d hate to have to ban you from your own pool.
That sounds alright. God, we'd have to wait like forty years before we could get a fast car, though.
[ The worst part about living in the twenties is obviously the lack of loud muscle cars. He kisses Steve on the forehead, smiling as he finally seems to relax. ]
That too. Did you see my hair? Ugh, what was I thinking?
[ Poor 1920s Billy had no cool rock stars to model his hair after. ] We could do it any time, I think. I don't believe in destiny or any of that mushy bullshit, but we could've done it somehow.
[ Translation: he absolutely does believe in all that mushy stuff where Steve is concerned. ]
Your hair was fine, okay. [ All of him was fine, to be honest. All of him's fine right now, even. Especially his neck, which Steve's lazily kissing his way down. ]
And yeah. We'd have made it work. There's always been guys who-- [ he's not exactly sure what word to use. "are like this", "are fags", "lov-- really like each other" ] --you know.
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Even if it meant moving to Hawkins. That was worth it. [ Even if I died in Hawkins is implied. He's not sure why he feels so strongly, but he has something with Steve he doesn't think he'd have anywhere else, no matter how long he lived for.
The 'l' word is on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't find it yet. ]
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But right now, in the moment, he just tilts his neck and holds Billy closer.]
'm glad you showed up, too. Even if you gave me stitches.
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The thought makes his stomach drop. The fact that he's had the exact same mindset that made him lash out against Steve very recently towards other people makes it even worse. He hasn't entirely changed. He just cares for Steve now. ]
I'm gonna be better than that. I'm really trying.
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You're doing so good already. Putting up with me and the kids and just-- [ He's on the verge of kissing Billy when he turns his head, kisses down his neck instead. He doesn't have the words for how proud he is of how hard Billy's trying. ]
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...Is there something on my face? [ He wipes his mouth with his sleeve as best he can while Steve's still necking him. ]
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No, uh. No. Don't see anything.
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[ He waggles his tongue, like he always does whenever Steve's got him in a mood. ]
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I can't kiss you, dumbass. [ There's an unspoken duh in his voice. Like this should be totally obvious to everyone right now. ]
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Why can't you kiss me?
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Because I touched something with my bare hands when I got here and this doctor on the network said I shouldn't. [ You know, when they got here a week ago. And Steve's been totally fine since then. ]
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[ But then he leans in, laying one right on Billy. Doing what he's told is the right thing to do, clearly. ]
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[ In the back of his mind it is pretty weird that Steve took what some random doctor said that seriously, but Billy likes being able to reassure Steve, too.
He breaks away and falls back onto the bed. ] You're so tense. Come on, just lay down and relax with me for a while. [ He holds out his arms so Steve can lay on his chest. ]
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Except that he can't quite completely relax; there's tension deep down inside him that a sigh can't completely erase-- and that sets his forehead wrinkling. To make up for it he kisses Billy again. ]
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[ Probably not, but it's fun to imagine a universe where they eloped together. ]
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He lets out a breath, trying to will away the tension in his shoulders. ]
What, and miss out on keeping you around as my mistress?
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You'd have to let me crash at your place, then. Maybe a shack out back by your pool.
[ Because that version of Steve definitely also had a pool. ]
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Hire you as my lifeguard.
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No running, though. I’d hate to have to ban you from your own pool.
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Pretty sure my parents back there never even talked to each other. Wouldn't even have to talk to my wife. Just you.
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[ The worst part about living in the twenties is obviously the lack of loud muscle cars. He kisses Steve on the forehead, smiling as he finally seems to relax. ]
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Longer than that before they invent decent hairspray. [ Steve presses his mouth to Billy's jaw. ] But we could still do this.
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[ Poor 1920s Billy had no cool rock stars to model his hair after. ] We could do it any time, I think. I don't believe in destiny or any of that mushy bullshit, but we could've done it somehow.
[ Translation: he absolutely does believe in all that mushy stuff where Steve is concerned. ]
cw gay slur
And yeah. We'd have made it work. There's always been guys who-- [ he's not exactly sure what word to use. "are like this", "are fags", "lov-- really like each other" ] --you know.
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[ And he also knows that those guys didn't always do very well, even back in California. ]
I'd look after you. [ He leans back, letting Steve kiss his neck. ] Kick the shit out of anyone who comes by looking for trouble.
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